What is your idea when you hear the word Mania? Well, according to a book written by a sociologists, John Alan Lee called "Colors of Love", Mania is a type of love described as a possessive or obsessive trait that could end up with extreme jealousy and codependency. Mania is mainly caused by an imbalance of love and insecurities between two people. The great news is, even if you find yourself in one of these styles of love, you won't stay there forever. People moves in and out of these styles of love. Now let us explore the 6 signs that you might be experiencing obsessive love.
Here are the things you need to know whether or not you are experiencing this type of love.
1. Lacking of Focus & Concentration
Have you ever found yourself losing focus and concentration at work or school because you are constantly thinking about your significant other? This might be a sign that you are experiencing Mania.
A person experiencing Mania
almost concentrates all of their time and energy on that other person due
to various reasons. These reasons can include but are not limited to
feelings lost without them, feeling like part of you has been ripped
apart, feeling like you've lost your identity without them, and so on.
According to experts in the field of sociology and psychology, these types of love are closely related to codependency.
2. You're In A Codependency Relationship
If you're mood, happiness, and identity pretty much is determined by your relationship, chances are, you're in a codependent relationship.
You find it difficult to make relationship decisions, stating your feelings, communicating with your partner and having fears of abandonment. People with Codependency experience an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others, stuck in unhealthy dependence on relationships, lack trust on themselves, having poor self-esteem, and always seeking the approval of others over one's own.
In a codependent relationship, there is usually one person that unable to make decisions, while the other are always the one making it for them. A big problem with codependency happens when one partner takes advantage of the other.
Codependency is part of the Mania love dynamic, if you are experiencing this kind of relationship there's good chance that you may also be experiencing Mania.
3. You're Upset When You Don’t Get Attention From Your Partner
How do you feel when don't get to see your partner for a period of time? Do you feel sad, worried, anxious and neglected? If you are consumed with these extreme negative emotions, that are related to attention, this could be a sign of obsessive love.
These feelings of anxiety to talk or message your significant other all of the time, being needy, feeling desperate, or angry if they don’t respond right away. Texting them almost all day becomes an obsession to you.
Fearing that they are intentionally ignoring you, don’t love you anymore, or is with somebody else if a few hours or a day goes by without them contacting you.
You may also feel a void or loneliness when you know that you're unable communicate with them, for example when they go to sleep early because they are tired from work.
4. Extreme Jealousy
We all experience jealousy at some point but acting overly aggressive and confrontational over extreme jealousy will definitely destroy any relationship.
Extreme jealousy causes the person to interrogate their partner excessively every time they go out with friends. Leaving them feeling paranoid, following or stalking their partner, trying to control their social media accounts, violating personal space and privacy.
If you are experiencing feelings of extreme jealousy and can’t seem to solve them on your own, it would be for your own good that you contact a mental or relationship and marriage expert available near you.
5. Being Too Possessive
A lot of times, extreme jealousy turns into extreme possessiveness in a desperate attempt to control and keep your partner into your grasp.
Possessiveness can lead someone to violate their partner’s boundaries,
invading their personal space, dictating who they see or
talk to, trying to control the way they dress, setting curfews, what they should or should not eat,
sneaking into their phones or gadgets, blaming, guilt-tripping,
manipulating them emotionally, mentally, and physically and not letting
them go out without you.
Being possessive will not help in keeping your partner close, instead it will make them feel smothered and imprisoned, forcing them leave you in the end.
Attempting to exercise power over our partners causes them to lose their attraction on us, when we try to control someone that we love, we limit them in ways that make them feel less of themselves”.
Possessiveness takes the air and life out of the relationship. Research revealed that jealousy and stalking behaviors we often associate with possessiveness lead to toxic relationship and destructive behavior”.
If this behavior persists, it will bring the end of the relationship and two wounded people.
6. Being Too Needy
Have you ever felt the urged to be with your partner all the time? It can feel like a constant bout that produces different sensations on your chest which leads to panic or anxiety attacks.
Researchers in the field of psychology relate this mainly to abandonment issues and loss wounds from your past, that make you feel the need for your significant other for every little thing. From going out to do simple errands to wanting them near you every time.
Psychologists suggests that besides the abandonment issues, people also do this to find a sense of value that they cannot find within themselves. They need to be valued by the other people in order to feel good about themselves.
But being too demanding to your partner because of your “needs” for them can leave both of you drained and puts a huge burden in the relationship.
The best way to deal with obsessive or possessive behavior is to admit to yourself that you are suffering from this kind of behaviors. Use your rational and logical thinking before taking actions based on your emotions.
Try to focus on yourself and your goals more than obsessing on the other person, and learn how to build and put trust in the relationship. Seeking help from a mental health expert will definitely help you in controlling these types of behaviors.
Its not advisable to solve this on your own, sometimes you might not
even know if what you are doing is the right course of action. It is always a good idea to reach out to
a mental or relationship professional if you think you you've experiencing signs of Mania.
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